(Written last October 26, 2012, 11:23 pm)
Just because you don't see me hurting doesn't mean I don't feel anything.
Just because you don't see me crying doesn't mean that I don't feel like breaking down.
And just because you see me smiling doesn't mean that I'm not feigning my emotions.
As much as I would want to show you my frailty, it all boils down to a single truth:
At the end of the day, IT WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING.
Knowing that I am in pain won't keep you from standing by the choices you've made.
Knowing that I've shed some tears won't change the circumstances that keep us apart.
Knowing that I feel the same way won't make things any better for the two of us.
Knowing that I've been missing you all this time won't change the fact that inspite of everything that had transpired, this is what's best for all of us.
I hope you do not think ill of me for doing this.
I am not good at laying my heart on the line.
This is the only way I know how to guard my heart so let it be my only defense.
Because after all that's been said and done, it doesn't really matter anyway.
And I might as well just keep it to myself.