These days, I don't get to write as much. The workload doesn't allow me to write as often as I would want to. So nights like these are nights that seem magical to me. I am not the best writer in town. I don't write as well as I used to. But nevertheless, I write. I am all about self-expression. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Tonight, I am not a frustrated 24-yr-old workaholic yuppie. Right now, I am just this one particular girl. Just for this one night, I will be who I really am and who I really was. Tonight I will be me.
Almost decade ago, something happened in between. Brimming with the vibrance of youth, my innocence and frailty almost got the best of me. But looking back now, I have no room for regrets. If there's anything that I've learned at this point, it would be that in this lifetime, the choices that you make are the ones that define who you really are. There are those who choose the easy route and just hang on the idea of regret. Others refer to it as the lessons they learned. I call it my necessary mistakes. And you are one of these.
A TEXT STORY
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---> Busy? How are you tonight?
---> Went out kanina. What can I do for you tonight?
---> I'm ok. How are you? How did your day go?
---> I could not care less about him. It's you I'm interested in. Any plan for tonight and tomorrow?
---> Saturday. How was mass? What gift do you want?
---> Surprise na lang.
---> You know I am one already. You're right. Good night. Thanks for everything.
---> Funny. I never had that much luck for myself. I should mean more to you than a lucky charm.
---> For when you need it. It never hurts to have luck on your side.
---> Bye. Take Care of yourself too.
---> I'll miss you.
---> I'm here. Always. Good night.
---> Yah. All you need is ask. I'll be behind you whenever, wherever.
---> Nah. I promise.
---> Ok. See you tomorrow.
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---> Thinking about you this morning.
---> Hi. You're still on my mind.
---> Sorry I can't be there. Try to rest ok? Please get some sleep. Goodnight.
---> Nuts. I miss you already. I want a hug. Hug me when I see you again?
---> I miss you too. I feel great though. I'm with my family.
---> Great. I miss you too. Can I call? You home already?
---> I want a hug. You'll always be on my mind.
---> Uhuh. Okies. Good night.
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---> Gods are too far away for me to hold. I'd rather have you near me than the presence of a God.
---> I'm that important to you? You're just as needed in my life. More than you can imagine.
---> I love you. That's why I need you. You complete me. You may need me, but I need you more than you'll ever know.
---> Keep saying that often and you just might believe that. You know where I stand concerning you? I like you the way you are.
---> Anything to prove that I do love you. Believe it. I just did.
---> No way.
---> Too late. I already did.
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---> I can't like you anymore. I must not like you the way I liked you before.
---> What does that mean? It's nice to hear you say you like me. But it aint good for me to like you. It's bad for you to like me too. It's just my opinion though.
---> I still like you. But that must not continue. I have my reasons. So you're my friend and like me for friendship sake. Nothing more.
---> Basta, I'll get over you. I have too.
---> Good night. I wanted to hate you, but I can't.
---> I said I didn't. It isn't in me to hate somebody. I love you too much for that.
---> Goodnight. Someday, your feelings will change. So until that day comes, let's not talk about it.
You have always been brutally honest. And at that time, I cursed you so much for being that way. I guess I needed that. You prepared me for the worst. And yet at some point there, you showed me how to be the best that I will always be. We were both at our prime. And if I were to relive my life all over again, I still would choose to come upon you. You were just the right dose of medicine that I needed. We wouldn't have had it any other way.
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"Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry."
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
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