I guess we'll never know

I wish we both knew. That one day, we would grow up and realize the many mistakes we've made back then. Maybe ours would've been a story we could have grown fond of telling.

But then again, where we are now, it's not so bad after all. I have found my place and right now, it's exactly where I want to be.

After all this time, I only wish the exact same thing for you - a life worth living and a love worth enduring.

I sincerely wish you well. And I mean it.

My Mark

Things happen. But it's always never too late to start all over again.

The Law of Attraction

When you stumble upon something you fancy, you grab it by impulse. But then when it finally sinks in, you realize that it's really just that, FANCY. And that by all means, you should get rid of it.

At some point in time, you will be drawn to something. Temptation will be so appealing that it may heighten up all of your senses.

But at the end of the day, should this mean anything at all? Will it be worth risking everything, even the one true thing in your life?

And therein lies the difference.

Moments are fleeting. Acquaintances are short-lived. But there will always be something that's worth keeping. And it's what you call COMMITMENT.

=)

Words simple as maybe
Yet honest passionate feelings can only come
From deep within a loving heart
And caring heart
Almost a decade, how long has it been

But time has failed to fade
Our love, the undying love
As it grows, fonder and stronger
I'm recollecting, awaking
Memories of the past

Could I ever forget
Electrifying loving times
Shared in golden silence that only
Our hearts come throbbing and
As life slowly pass us by
While those childlike carefree youth
Are only bygones and love's greatness
Changing and giving ways

When loving you from afar
How my heart desires your warm embrace
Burning kisses from your playful lips
Deep inside of me
All sweetness and tenderness

But time has failed to fade
Our love, the undying love
As it grows, fonder and stronger
I'm recollecting, awaking
Memories of the past

Could I ever forget
Electrifying loving times
Shared in golden silence that only
Our hearts come throbbing and
As life slowly pass us by
While those childlike carefree youth
Are only bygones and love's greatness
Changing and giving ways

(I had almost already forgotten how much I loved this song. Thank God I heard it again tonight.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzycuXVxRRk&feature=related

Something I wish that I wrote

'Speak now or forever hold your peace,' the words said by preachers at the end of wedding ceremonies all over the world, right before the vows. It's a last chance for protest, a moment that makes everyone's heart race, and a moment I've always been strangely fascinated by. So many fantasize about bursting into a church, saying what they'd kept inside for years like in the movies. In real life, it rarely happens.

Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I've begun to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything.

I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moments we didn't speak up. When we didn't say 'I love you.' When we should've said 'I'm sorry.' When we didn't stand up for ourselves or someone who needed help.

These songs are made up of words I didn't say when the moment was right in front of me. These songs are open letters. Each is written with a specific person in mind, telling them what I meant to tell them in person. To the beautiful boy whose heart I broke in December. To my first love who I never thought would be my first heartbreak. To my band. To a mean man I used to be afraid of. To someone who made my world very dark for a while. To a girl who stole something of mine. To someone I forgive for what he said in front of the whole world. --- TAYLOR SWIFT

Nobody Knows It But Me

I have only one heart

Just one

And I wish right from the start, it had known

Who to hold on to

And what not to feel

Who should it beat for

and who not to believe

It would make life and loving

A lot easier

Much less complicated

Now all I have are these bits and pieces

And a thousand memories

There are remnants of the joy and tears

The painful ones and the bittersweet

Nobody knows it but me

At the end of the day

Here I am

Reminiscing like a madman

Chasing my dreams away

But after all,

When everything else will fade away

And the time will come to pass,

The numbers won't count

The million heartbreaks will be forgotten

And the many faces will just linger as a memory

What we have now

is this

And this is all that we'll ever need.

"So miss him. Wish him light and love whenever you think of him. Then drop it."

Apology after a decade

I hope that someday, you get to read this just as you have once come upon my way. This has been long overdue; and probably almost a decade too late. Nevertheless, I just need to say my piece. This may be the last time I get to speak of all that we had and all that it was. But I will say it because it will be a great dishonor not to. And so that once and for all, I hope you will realize that it wasn't just yours or my own crime to pay. It just had to happen. You and I. We. Us.

Maybe at that point in time, we needed to be together. And yet we also needed to be apart for all these years just so we could find ourselves and become who we really should be. The distance, the space, the bitter emotions that we harbored for each other. It was all part of the master plan. Because it was relevant for us to be able to gain the wisdom to admit how promising we were side by side and how wonderful it was that we used to share.

I am sorry. I really am. I should have said this to you a long time ago. I had a million opportunities to do so. But I didn't. My pride got in the way. And I was too young to even understand that you were wiser than everybody else. That you knew me better than I knew myself. That you were right after all. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself. I'm sorry that I didn't even try to understand what it was that you were trying to tell me. My emotions got the best of me. My sorrow and my pain consumed me. After which, I have never been the same again. You were the first one to make my heart beat like crazy. And yet, you were also the same person who tore it apart into a million pieces.

And I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you. I'm sorry for waging war against you. I'm sorry for the many times that I tried to make your life a living hell. I was blinded by my vengeance. I wanted to inflict my pain on you. I wanted you to feel what it was that I felt back then even if I knew it was futile. Because we will never be the same again. I'm sorry that I made you hate me. Back then, I hated you too. I'm sorry I blamed it all on you. Most of all, I'm sorry that I broke your heart too.

And it has taken me almost a decade of pondering, one rainy evening and a friend who once cursed you too, for me to realize that you had nothing but the best intentions for the both of us. That you only wished me well.

Looking back, I see now that we had better days. That we had more beautiful memories than the bad ones. And with that, I am truly grateful that you were once part of my life. I hope you know that you will always be special. Because to me, you were like no other.

There is this part of me that wants to hold on to you and keep your memory for the longest time. And I know very well the reason why. You and I were the perfect combination. We were like thunder and lightning. Together we were unbeatable.And for as long as I had you by my side, I knew I could do anything. You had me at my best because you showed me the way. I know now why I've always striven for excellence and why I demand perfection in everything that I do. The example that you set was the basis of my standards. And back then, you always had your best foot forward. It was you who taught me to never settle for anything less because I deserved nothing but the best.

These days, there is nothing else that I wish but to go back in time and undo the part where I had been nothing but mean and heartless. Maybe if I had done just that, we probably would have stayed friends until now. But I screwed it all up. Admitting my mistakes has never come easy for me. So I deserve to feel this remorse and all these guilt feelings. Because even if you may have hurt me, you didn't need to endure all the tongue-lashing and verbal abuse that I had always thrown at you.

Someday, I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me for everything that I have done. Right now, there is nothing else that I can do but to pray and to lift up my apology to the Greater One up there so he can be the one to throw it right back at you. And when he does, I hope he blows you his loving kisses too. Just so you'll know that I'm sincerely grateful for everything that you've taught me. We probably wouldn't have turned out this well as separate individuals had we not have had a story to tell. And right now, I will just smile and be thankful that you happened and that you were a part of once-upon-a-time, never mind that it's not quite the fairy tale that we expected it to be. It's a still a story worth telling anyway.